All About Steve (2009):

Starring:

Sandra Bullock - Mary Horowitz

Bradley Cooper - Steve

Thomas Haden Church - Hugh Hartman

Ken Jeong - Angus

DJ Qualls - Howard

Katy Mixon - Elizabeth

Keith David - Corbitt

Howard Hesseman - Mr. Horowitz

Beth Grant - Mrs. Horowitz

M.C. Gainey - Norm The Truck Driver

Director:

Phil Traill (First Feature Film & hopefully last)

Rotten Tomatoes: 6%

Flixster: 35%

Synopsis:

A brilliant crossword-puzzle designer travels across the country in hopes of convincing a CCN cameraman that the pair is meant to be together, only to find her quest taking an unexpected turn. Despite the fact that she has only gone on one short date with the man, Mary (Bullock) becomes enamored with a successful cameraman (Cooper) and follows him to a series of media events in hopes that the feeling is mutual. While she is saddened to discover that it is not, she soon becomes involved with a group of misfits who selflessly accept her at face value.

Review:

Runner up for the 2009 Razzie Award for Worst Picture & Winner of the 2009 Razzie for Worst Actress & Worst on screen couple (Cooper & Bullock) comes the horrible "comedy" about Sandra Bullock proving that she isn't actually funny nor is she a good actress. The role she plays is something that should have been written into a Disney Channel show or movie. She was 45 at the time, playing a role that was written for a 17 year old actress. Now on top of that, she is playing the protagonist, which usually means that you are suppose to like them, feel sympathy for them & want them to achieve their goal. This is the complete opposite of what she does in it. Not only is she acting like a 13 year old with a crush, but she is so annoying that you just want her to get killed along her trip to find Bradley Cooper. There is nothing that makes you want her to find him, have him fall in love with her & then feel warm inside that it happened. She is so far beyond funny in her performance, she is doing slapstick "comedy" that you would see from a straight to DVD sequel or spin off of a successful theater release (maybe like a Scooby Doo). They are attempting to give you the illusion that you should never change who you are no matter who you want to be. Even if that is a complete psychotic, desperate sociopath regardless of how good your intentions are. Has anyone noticed that outside of "The Hangover" Bradley Cooper has never actually done a good film? Name one! Limitless was meh, Hangover 2 was GARBAGE, A-Team was horrible etc. He is not actually a good comedic actor, nor a good actor period. He's suppose to be at time the antagonist only because he is pushing away the protagonist & trying to stop her attempts at achieving her final goal. The ONLY bright spots are Thomas Haden Church, who supplies the ONLY laughs even though they are few & far between. I have always felt that he is a very funny comedian who has a way about him that draws me to his films. The other saving grace was the fact that Katy Mixon has ENORMOUS breast & they are well on display. After you get past the two things I actually enjoyed, you have god awful dialogue & a horrible script. The attempted road blocks (both hypothetical & literal) are so stupid & out of left field that your wondering what the hell your watching. Then you have the fucking stupidest B Plot I have EVER SEEN IN A MOVIE! The reason why Bradley Cooper & the news team need to travel across the country is to go to a hospital to cover a protest. What is the protest over you might ask? The protest is over whether or not the father of a baby.... BORN WITH A THIRD LEG should keep it or have it surgically removed!!! ARE. YOU. FUCKING. SERIOUS? Then you have the wonderful storyline of Bullock being convinced that Cooper wants her & is just playing hard to get so she follows him to Colorado where they are covering a group of blind fucking kids falling into an abandoned mine. Then after they rescue the kids, BULLOCK falls in. No wonder this movie is a Piece Of Shit. At least at the end Bullock basically tells Cooper like this is who I am, I don't want to change & Cooper pretty much tells her, we'll your fucking crazy & psycho so I will NEVER be with you. Still A P.O.S.

 10%

Lead Acting: 0/15

Supporting Cast: 5/15 (only for THC's acting)

Plot: 0/10

Compared To The Genre: 0/10

Cinematography: 0/20

Intrigue: 0/20

Extra: 5/10 (only for Katy Mixon's HUGE knockers & THC's acting)