Hugo (2011):

Starring:

Sir Ben Kingsley - Georges Méliès

Sacha Baron Cohen - Station Inspector

Asa Butterfield - Hugo Cabret

Chloë Grace Moretz - Isabelle

Ray Winstone - Uncle Claude

Emily Mortimer - Lisette

Christopher Lee - Monsieur Labisse

Helen McCrory - Mama Jeanne

Michael Stuhlbarg - Rene Tabard

Jude Law - Hugo's Father

Director:

Martin Scorsese (If you don't know any of his other films, you should probably never watch a movie again or kill yourself)

Rotten Tomatoes: 93%

                                               Flixster: 80%

Synopsis:

Twelve-year-old Hugo lives in the walls of a busy Paris train station, where his survival depends on secrets and anonymity. But when his world suddenly interlocks with an eccentric girl and the owner of a small toy booth in the train station, Hugo's undercover life, and his most precious secret, are put in jeopardy.

Review:

Really? So this was the movie that everyone was ranting & raving about? Won academy awards you say. Interesting. To be completely honest with you this film falls into a category that only one other film has fallen into with me (Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End). That category was in fact films that I had to watch 4+ times because I kept falling asleep while watching. Possibly because they were uninteresting or nothing special or maybe even possibly because I was sleepy EVERYTIME. Who knows? I just didn't see how this was the big deal it was made out to be. I thought the acting was average, slow paced & incredibly bland. This Butterfield kid just seems like another random British child/teen actor who gets one big gig & then either disappears into the backdrop of small time British films or TV. Sir Ben Kingsley isn't really anything special, his age really shows even if that is what the character is designed for. Borat is pretty good, but it's really just the same role he played in Talladega Night's even though it's a completely different genre. Even for a kids movie it's not that great. Overall i found it to be generic, with no plot arcs or twists. Overall I give it a "Meh".

S.P.R.: C-/30

Acting: 7/10

Plot: 5/10

Cinematography: 8/10

Intrigue: 5/10

Extra: 5/10 

Game Of Death (2010):

Starring:

Wesley Snipes - Agent Marcus

Zoe Bell - Floria

Ernie Hudson - Clarence

Robert Davi - Smith

Aunjanue Ellis - Rachel

Gary Daniels - Zander

Director:

Giorgio Serafini (Italian Films)

Rotten Tomatoes: Un-Reviewed
Flixster: 17%

Synopsis:

Expert assassin for hire Marcus Jones (Wesley Snipes) is on the run from CIA agents, an international weapons dealer, and billionaires after being framed for a murder he didn't commit. He must find whoever is responsible before they find him first.

Review:

Straight to DVD Wesley Snipes films, not much different than non-straight to DVD Wesley Snipes films. Acting is well what you would expect. The production value is again what you would expect. The only thing that is above average is the fight scenes. Paying taxes aside Wesley knows how to organize a fake fight.

S.P.R.: D/20

Acting: 4/10

Plot: 4/10

Cinematography: 3/10

Intrigue: 4/10

Extra: 5/10 

The Cabin In The Woods (2012):

Starring:

Kristen Connolly - Dana

Chris Hemsworth - Curt

Anna Hutchison - Jules

Fran Kranz - Marty

Jesse Williams - Holden

Richard Jenkins - Sitterson

Bradley Whitford - Hadley

Brian White - Truman

Amy Acker - Lin

Tom Lenk - Ronald The Intern

Jodelle Ferland - Patience Buckner

Director:

Drew Goddard (First Feature Film)

Rotten Tomatoes: 91%

Flixster: 83%

Synopsis:

A group of five college kids are tricked into spending a weekend at a mysterious cabin in the woods.

Review:

HOLY. SHIT. This film was so fucking incredible that after seeing it last night, I am going to see it again this week! I really do not want to give anything away on this film at all. If you have never trusted me before on my opinion on movies, or if you do trust my opinion in movies (as you should), YOU NEED TO SEE THIS FILM!!!! Do yourself a favour though. Don't watch any trailers, Don't go online & read anything about it. Just simply trust in my words that you MUST see this. Without giving away any major plot lines or story arcs let me say that if you are a fan of any good, GOOD horror franchises from any era or style of horror there is something in this film for you. It is a true homage to every great horror film that has been made before it. (Even some bad ones). Also if you are turned on by inter species erotica then there is even something for you! This is easily the best film I have seen in the last maybe 10 years. Sure maybe it's not on the same level as The Departed or Lord Of The Rings, but in its own world it is simply the greatest! Richard Jenkins & Bradley Whitford (Yes the bad guy from Billy Madison) are on fucking fire. Just stellar, perfect comedic timing. If you are at all familiar with "The Whedon-vers" then you have a very good idea of what to expect. A few Buffy The Vampire Slayer & Angel cast members making appearances.

S.P.R.: A+/50

Acting: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Cinematography: 10/10

Intrigue: 10/10

Extra: 10/10 

The Ledge (2011):

Starring:

Charlie Hunnam - Gavin Nichols

Terrence Howard - Det. Hollis Lucetti

Liv Tyler - Shana Harris

Patrick Wilson - Joe Harris

Jaqueline Fleming - Angela Lucetti

Christopher Gorham - Chris

Director:

Matthew Chapman (Heart Of Midnight)

Rotten Tomatoes: 11%

Flixster: 52%

Synopsis:

Atop a high-rise building, Gavin, a young hotel manager, is about to end his life. Hollis, a detective whose own world has just been turned upside down, is dispatched to the scene. As Hollis tries to persuade Gavin not to jump, each man begins to open up about his past, and we discover that neither of them is convinced that his life is worth living.

Review:

Ledge. Not to be confused with "Man On A...."

S.P.R.: D/20

Acting: 5/10

Plot: 5/10

Cinematography: 3/10

Intrigue: 3/10

Extra: 4/10

Blitz (2011):

Starring:

Jason Statham - Brant

Paddy Considine - Nash

Aidan Gillen - Weiss

David Morrissey - Dunlop

Zawe Ashton - Falls

Ned Dennehy - Radnor

Mark Rylance - Roberts

Luke Evans - Stokes

Director:

Elliott Lester (First Feature Film)

Rotten Tomatoes: 46%

Flixster: 38%

Synopsis:

A fast-paced thriller set in contemporary London, "Blitz" reflects the challenges faced by a group of police officers working in a modern, multi-cultural society. A raw, gritty tale of moral ambiguity, outsiders and the sacrifices the police make to keep crime off British streets.

Review:

Straight to DVD Jason Statham movie. You're really not missing much on this one. Is anyone else pretty confident in saying that they never need to see another Jason Statham movie in their life? (Unless Guy Ritchie can actually make a good movie again in his entire life). This one has elements of every Statham movie you've come to expect. Car driving, punching & kicking, shooting blah blah. It's really not important to you life that you see this film. Although Game Of Thrones alumnus Aidan Gillen is actually pretty good in it, probably the first time you see him use his real accent.

S.P.R.: C-/24

Acting: 6/10

Plot: 4/10

Cinematography: 5/10

Intrigue: 4/10

Extra: 5/10

Primal (2010):

Starring:

Krew Boylan - Mel

Lindsay Farris - Chad

Rebekah Foord - Kris

Damien Freeleagus - Warren

Stephen Shanahan - Squatter

Ch'aska Cuba de Reed - Squatter's Daughter

Santiado Cuba de Reed - Squatter's Son

Wil Traval - Dace

Zoe Tuckwell-Smith - Anja

Director:

Josh Reed (First Feature Film)

Rotten Tomatoes: 86%

Flixster: 30%

Synopsis:

The film follows six friends on a field trip who set up camp in the remote wilderness of Australia. When one person takes a late night skinny dip in a nearby waterhole, she becomes incredibly feverish and agitated, and soon regresses to a crazed predatory state in which her companions suddenly become the hunted. When another begins the same beastly transition, terror descends on the remainder as they realize it's now kill or be killed.

Review:

A very simple, straight forward genre film, mixed with some comedy, obvious nudity & average effects. If you are a fan of tentacle rape & I'm sure that you are then you are in for a treat. Overall it serves it's purpose. It's not the worst in the genre of mutant, ancient evil body snatching film you'll ever see... but there is better.

S.P.R.: C-/24

Acting: 5/10

Plot: 5/10

Cinematography: 4/10

Intrigue: 6/10

Extra: 4/10

White Irish Drinkers (2010):

Starring:

Nick Thurston - Brian Leary

Geoffrey Wigdor - Danny Leary

Karen Allen - Margaret Leary

Stephen Lang - Patrick Leary

Peter Riegert - Whitney

Leslie Murphy - Shauna Friel

Zachary Booth - Todd McKay

Director:

John Gray (Born To Be Wild; Ghost Whisperer)

Rotten Tomatoes: 44%

Flixster: 72%

Synopsis:

A coming of age story set in 1975 working-class Brooklyn, in which two teenage brothers living with their abusive father and their well-meaning but ineffective mother are caught up in a life of petty crime. Older brother Danny concocts a daring scheme to steal enough money for the two to escape.

S.P.R.: C/32

Acting: 8/10

Plot: 7/10

Cinematography: 6/10

Intrigue: 6/10

Extra: 5/10

The Hit List (2011):

Starring:

Cuba Gooding Jr. - Jonas Arbor

Cole Hauser - Allan Campbell

Jonathan LaPaglia - Detective Neil McKay

Ginny Weirick - Sydney Campbell

Drew Waters - Mike Dodd

Sean Cook - Brian Felzner

Michael Papajohn - Special Agent Drake Ford

Director:

William Kaufman

Synopsis:

A disgruntled man creates a hit list with a stranger during a drunken night out and must then race to try to save those he marked for extermination as the bodies begin to pile up and all fingers point to him.

Review:

If you are surprised to see that the star of this film is Academy Award Winner Cuba Gooding Jr. & your are confused that he has still been making movies, you obviously don't know his deal. After all of the big movies that Cuba did during the 90's & early 2000's, he joined the company of Dolph Lundgren, Val Kilmer & Jean Claude Van Damme. That's right the wonderful, glorious world of straight to DVD films. Chalk it up to an ego where you get to control every aspect of your character, filming schedule or whatever since your on a smaller set in a smaller film. Possibly even the fact that it's a way to show your "creativity" or even to express yourself. Either way, that's what he's been doing with himself over the past 5-8 years. In this one, he's a gun toating super assassin who's life is empty except for his uncanny ability to murder. So when he meets lowly Cole Hauser, who's life has gone to shit, he decides that he will help him deal with his problems. Now your ready for some low budget, straight to DVD gun fighting action. The budget of the film must have gone to explosions because that's the only thing that happens in this one. All in all the film is what it is, a straight to DVD, low budget shoot em up fest. The acting actually isn't too bad, but that's because Cuba Gooding has won an ACADEMY AWARD!

S.P.R.: C/28

Acting: 7/10

Plot: 6/10

Cinematography: 5/10

Intrigue: 5/10

Extra: 5/10

Confessions Of A Porn Addict (2008):

Starring:

Spencer Nolan Rice - Mark Tobias

Mark Breslin - Bob

Lindsey Connell - Felice

Rob Black - Himself

Duncan Christie -Himself

Kevin Morgan - Himself

Director:

Duncan Christie (Kenny Vs Spenny; Single White Spenny)

Synopsis:

A repentant porn addict enlists the aid of his filmmaker friend and his Porn Addicts Anonymous sponsor in hopes of convincing both the judge and his ex-wife that he's given up smut once and for all. Once upon a time, Mark Tobias (Rice) had a loving wife and a good job - but that all went away thanks to his all-consuming addition to hardcore pornography. Abandoned by his wife Felicity (Lindsey Cornell), who eventually got fed up with the competition, Mark subsequently fell into a downward spiral that culminated with his arrest for indecent exposure at a local video store. These days Mark is a member of Porn Addicts Anonymous. With the help of his sponsor Bob (Mark Breslin) and his filmmaker friend Dunx (Duncan Christie), Mark is doing his best to convince the judge that he's finally free from the grip of addiction. In order to conquer his demons once and for all, Mark sets his sights on the San Fernando Valley - the throbbing epicenter of the entire pornography industry. Later, an unlikely porn star dispatches Mark on an undercover mission into this porn paradise, where he comes face to face with not only his personal demons, but notorious smut peddler Rob Black as well.

Review:

A Mockumentary from the mind of Kenny vs Spenny 2nd banana Spencer "Spenny" Rice. Oh Spenny, even when your acting as a maybe exaggerated version of yourself you are still nothing more than a reality TV star. Spenny uses several of his friends & acquaintances from the show, including Kevin his boom mic operator & Mark Breslin, who was the judge in the "Who Is Funnier" episode. It's almost like your watching an episode of Kenny vs Spenny but without Kenny there to instigate & humiliate Spenny. At points however it goes from being a mockumentary & does become an unintentional documentary once they get an in with porn director & former 3PW Wrestling owner Rob Black. It shows a brief view into the behind the scenes goings on of the porn industry, or at least what Rob Black considers the porn industry. There are a few laughs, but more than that there is tons of people jerking off. Spenny probably fake jerks off 15 times. Not overly something you need to see more than 0 times, even if it is fake. I kept waiting for Kenny to appear & it to be a long lost Kenny vs Spenny episode. But I was disappointed.

S.P.R.: C-/26

Acting: 4/10

Plot: 6/10

Cinematography: 5/10

Intrigue: 5/10

Extra: 6/10

The Skeleton Key (2005):

Starring:

Kate Hudson - Caroline Ellis

Gena Rowlands - Violet Devereaux

John Hurt - Ben Devereaux

Peter Sarsgaard - Luke Marshall

Joy Bryant - Jill

Director:

Iain Softley (K-PAX; Inkheart)

Synopsis:

A hospice nurse working at a spooky New Orleans plantation home finds herself entangled in a mystery involving the house's dark past. 

Review:

Voodoo, Hoodoo & Slavery. Ah the south, what a colourful place full of tolerance, love & respect. A movie that only nerdy girls find scary & intriguing. The acting of Hudson is just atrocious. Possibly her worst film ever. How can someone born from such pedigree become such a horrible actress. John Hurt, who I usually enjoy, does a decent job, only being a physical actor but it adds nothing to the story of plot so it's completely irrelevant. The only bright spot in this boring, scare less garbage is Peter Sarsgaard who is always entertaining even in terrible films. The story line is suppose to shock you at the evil secrets that this family has been hiding for almost a hundred years, but instead of doing that it makes you wonder how much time is left before it's over.

S.P.R.: D/24

Acting: 5/10

Plot: 5/10

Cinematography: 5/10

Intrigue: 5/10

Extra: 4/10

Men With Brooms (2002):

Starring:

Paul Gross - Chris Cutter

Molly Parker - Amy Foley

Michelle Nolden - Julie Foley

Jed Rees - Eddie Strombeck

Peter Outerbridge - James Lennox

Kari Matchett - Linda Bucyk

James Allodi - Neil Bucyk

Leslie Nielsen - Gordon Cutter

Director:

Paul Gross (Paeschendale; Gunless)

Synopsis:

Paul Gross stars as the leader of a recently reunited curling team from a small Canadian town. This offbeat comedy follows the team as they work through their respective life issues and struggle to win the championship for the sake of their late coach

Review:

Ah yes, a true Canadian film, made by questionably the most famous Canadian actor/director/writer to only make films in Canada? This film is the stereotype of stereotypes. The movie is full of puns that only a Canadian would understand, granted I'm sure no one outside of Canada has heard of it. Every silly cliche that you can think of is in this film. You gets a shit load of slapstick comedy, some completely goofy acting & of course the Legendary Leslie Nielsen (R.I.P.). Need I say more? The best part too is the cameo appearance by my personal favourite Canadian rock group The Tragically Hip as themselves. Overall the movie is just too goofy to be taken seriously even as a comedy. Although I will say that Paul Gross does an extremely good job in the lead role & for some reason I find Molly Parker extremely hot in this one.

S.P.R.: C+/30

Acting: 6/10

Plot: 6/10

Cinematography: 5/10

Intrigue: 6/10

Extra: 7/10

Flawless (2007):

Starring:

Demi Moore - Laura

Michael Caine - Hobbs

Lambert Wilson - Finch

Nathaniel Parker - Ollie

Joss Ackland - MKA

Director:

Michael Radford (The Merchant Of Venice)

Synopsis:

A crime/drama set in 1960 London, where a soon to retire janitor convinces a glass-ceiling constrained American executive to help him steal a handful of diamonds from their employer, the London Diamond Corporation.

Review:

We'll this is a very first for my review blog. You get to see the very first INCOMPLETE. An Incomplete review is something that occurs when no matter how many times nor how hard I try I could NOT finish the film. This has only happened to me maybe a handful of times. This was the most recent. The story just moves so slowly, with absolutely no action happening in a "crime drama". Moore's acting is very bland & emotionless. There is no diversity in her emotions whether she is scared or attempting to be sneaky, she has no range in this one. Michael Caine is good, but his character does little more than talk & walk. I only got 43 minutes into this one on 3 attempts.

S.P.R.: INCOMPLETE

Let's Face It. Not all of these posts are gems. There are some films that I can easily review & give my opinion on because I think of things as I'm watching them. We'll some movies just don't need my review or input. For either the fact that I have nothing good nor bad to say about the film because it's just that good, or I know that almost everyone has seen it so there is no point in giving my opinion. So from now on I will be adding in quick simple posts with these types of films. Just a quick run down of Actors, Director & Synopsis & then any additional points I want, or any explanation on why I've given it that certain S.P.R. Hope you enjoy.

In Time (2011):

Starring:

Justin Timberlake - Will Salas

Cillian Murphy - Raymond Leon

Amanda Seyfried - Sylvia Weis

Olivia Wilde - Rachel Salas

Johnny Galecki - Borel

Michael William Freeman - Nardin

Vincent Katheiser - Philippe Weis

Adam Jamal Craig - Girard

Director:

Andrew Niccol (Gattaca; Lord Of War)

Synopsis:

In a future where people stop aging at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year, having the means to buy your way out of the situation is a shot at immortal youth. Here, Will Salas finds himself accused of murder and on the run with a hostage - a connection that becomes an important part of the way against the system.

Review:

The Future. Where Time is money.... literally. Instead of a world run by moolah, the world is purely run on how much time is left on your life. At some point in the future (never actually explained to us) someone, mostly likely "The Man" developed a way to I guess genetically enhance babies in the womb so that they have a built in timer in their arm? So when they turn 25, they get one year left on their life, unless they work, beg, borrow, steal to get more time. This must be come magical future where they have unlimited resources. Because as far as THIS future goes, the most advanced technology were looking at is more ipad's that keep getting better. Maybe by this time in the real future we'll be carrying around ipads the size of medium sized TV's.The general concept of the movie is that it's a commentary of the 1% controlling the 99%. That there is enough to share for everyone, but they don't so that the poor people die. You get your fair share of action, drama, gun fights all that jazz. The creepy part is that, you never age physically past 25, so no matter how old you are, that's what you will look like for the rest of your life. So.... you could be banging someone who's over 100.... just think about that! Yuck. I was super excited to see this film when I saw trailers for it. But after seeing it, I don't know what it was but I really had to think about why I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. I still honestly don't know why I'm not super high on it. The acting wasn't bad, the action was good, the storyline was pretty good. Just something I guess I can't put my finger on. It's not a bad film at all, I'm sure you might like it. Small role by Big Bang Theory Star Johnny Galecki is pretty good. Also Angel's son, Connor from the TV Show Angel....Not a selling factor but hey, thought I'd point it out.

S.P.R.: B-/40

Acting: 8/10

Plot: 8/10

Cinematography: 8/10

Intrigue: 8/10

Extra: 8/10

Drive (2011):

Starring:

Ryan Gosling - Driver

Carey Mulligan - Irene

Bryan Cranston - Shannon

Albert Brooks - Bernie Rose

Oscar Isaac - Standard

Christina Hendricks - Blanche

Ron Perlman - Nino

Director:

Nicolas Winding Refn (Bronson, Valhalla Rising)

Synopsis:

A mysterious Hollywood stuntman, mechanic and getaway driver lands himself in trouble when he helps out his neighbour.

Review:

Drive (Pause far dramatic effect), A film full of (Pause for dramatic effect) incredible action (Pause for musical interlude), intense drama (Pause for dramatic musical interlude) & umm.... Pauses for dramatic effect? There are just as many pauses for dramatic effect & musical interludes than Ryan Gosling actually has lines in the film. After every major event it happens. After every action sequence, it happens. After any romantic or emotional moment it happens. Nice tight close up on Gosling's face while he does his serious look, pull back slowly while playing 80's sounding music to reveal him brooding or intensely driving. When this film was first advertised everyone had it billed as a remake or reboot of The Transporter franchise. However it could not be further from that. The plot may be somewhat similar, a man who does driving jobs for criminals & is so good that he makes the cop cars following do the classic car chase flip overs & slamming into things. Major differences between Drive & The Transporter franchises are massive however. In the Transporter, Jason Statham has a very 100% intense, in your face, angry, fist fighting style of character. In Drive Gosling is very reserved & passive for the majority of the movie until the midway point when things slowly start to change. The acting in the film has an incredible supporting cast that really makes the movie what it is. Despite the fact that Gosling's character, simply known as "Driver" or sometimes called "The Kid" in the film, only has about 25 minutes of actual dialogue & maybe 15 minutes of reactions, he still does an incredible job of showing emotion & reacting to his surroundings. Who would have thought that the dad from "Malcolm In The Middle" would become such an amazing, talented & believable dramatic actor. Bryan Cranston went from running around in his underwear in Malcolm to, well, running around in his underwear in Breaking Bad to now being a major character actor in Hollywood blockbusters. He has such a talent of making you feel sorry for him even though his characters usually don't feel sorry for themselves. He is by far the best part of the film even with his smaller role. Albert Brooks (who to be honest I didn't realize was still making movies, let alone still alive) played a role very outside of his usual spectrum of characters. Generally known as a comedian, his role as a big time crime boss is a smart change from his earlier roles. Carey Mulligan was her usual self. I'm not a huge fan, I think mainly because she has the face of a 12-year old boy. Don't know if short hair helps either. Her acting isn't terrible, but it's not incredibly memorable. Ron Perlman basically plays what I would assume is himself. Soundtracks can sometimes make or break a film. This one is SO important to the success & plot of the film. Could be in my top 5 soundtracks of all time. Two of my favourite songs coming from the soundtrack are: Kavinsky Feat. Lovefoxxx - Nightcall & College Feat. Electric Youth - A Real Hero. Both fit right in with the style of the film. A very surprising aspect of the film is the gore factor. Really did not expect the amount of raw violence in this one. I knew there might be some face punching, shooting, maybe even an explosion or two. But i certainly did NOT expect the gruesome amount of fu-cking-awesome blood & gore going on in this one. LOVED IT! YOU SHOULD SEE THIS FILM!

S.P.R.: A/46

Acting: 9/10

Plot: 8/10

Cinematography: 9/10

Intrigue: 10/10

Extra: 10/10

The Hunger Games (2012):

Starring:

Jennifer Lawrence - Katniss Everdeen

Josh Hutcherson - Peeta Mellark

Woody Harrelson - Haymitch Abernathy

Stanley Tucci - Caesar Flickerman

Wes Bentley - Seneca Crane

Liam Hemsworth - Gale Hawthorne

Elizabeth Banks - Effie Trinket

Lenny Kravitz - Cinna

Donald Sutherland - President Snow

Alexander Ludwig - Cato

Isabelle Fuhrman - Clove

Toby Jones - Claudius Templesmith

Director:
Gary Ross (Big; Seabiscuit)

Synopsis:

Set in a future where the Capitol selects a boy and girl from the twelve districts to fight to the death on live television, Katniss Everdeen volunteers to take her younger sister's place for the latest match

Review:

Ah yet another Tween phenomenon that I was hoping I would never be involved in. Much like the Harry Potter, Twilight Or Justin Bieber years of past. Yet here I am, one day removed from seeing this film in theaters. I needed a night to sleep on it, whether or not I liked, disliked or thought that Rush Hour 3 was better than this film. After a somewhat good nights sleep, I have made my decision. This movie runs 2 1/2 hours long, but it felt MUCH longer. First off, from the start of the film it feels like it is immediately catering to people who have read the books because the characters through their dialogue are bringing up past events as if you already are suppose to know them. They also don't go into any sort of detail on the current world & exactly how The Hunger Games work. How your name gets placed into the list of names to be picked, or what can get your name put in more. Everything is implied & for someone like myself who didn't know anything about the film/books other than seeing a trailer it was confusing. Then after sitting through the first hour, although it honestly felt like more, I already felt that I had sat through an entire movie already just from the build up of the selection, then the transporting, then the training, then the promotions & interviews. I personally didn't feel any sort of connection to the character through any of the dialogue that occurred during this portion of the film. The only saving grace was Woody Harrelson's awesome role as a former winner who is now Katniss & Peeta's mentor. Question. Can Woody ever play a character NOT gay? Not quite sure he knows the difference between washed up drunk & secret gay. From here, we FINALLY get to the arena where they will be having their little games. It makes me wonder though, if they didn't want them to have uprisings in the poorer districts to keep the rich, rich & the poor, poor. Then why the hell would they choose children to battle it out? Having your child taken away from you & forced to kill or be killed would make their parents go ape shit & start a murderous rampage. If they really wanted to get their message across they would have taken the most in shape, educated, powerful people from the districts & forced them to kill each other, so they wouldn't have a Spartacus on their hands. But anyways, once you finally get to the arena, as they are raised up from underneath & the countdown beings for them to grab weapons, food, survival gear, your thinking FINALLY! business is about to pick up.... But then you remember, oh yeah it's a damn kids movie. Which totally ruins any aspect of gladiators or battles that they would have because it's PG-13 (or whatever it is, I'm way too lazy to actually look) So you get nothing but quick cutaways, thrusts into nothing & falling down acting dead because you couldn't show anything. Now enough about the plot, because if any of you (I'm assuming anyone reads this stupid thing) want to see it, I don't want to spoil EVERYTHING, so I am going to skip to the cinematography of this one. I felt like I was watching what it would look like if Tim Burton was raped by Lady GaGa & they used their child as the production, set & costume designer on this film. Why does everything in the future have to look like everyone is the opposite of colour blind? I kept waiting for Beetlejuice to jump out & skeeze his way into the real world. The fact is, they used concepts & ideas from every futuristic movie that has been made over the past 25 years. I saw glimpses of Total Recall, Fifth Element, even the newer Star Wars movies. Why can't everything just be normal in the future? Remember when people thought we were going to have colonies on the moon & mars in the year 1999 in the 20's & 30's? Now obviously there is a huge market for this film, I mean you don't have the 3rd highest opening weekend gross of all time (The last Harry Potter & The Dark Knight for those of you scoring at home) but it's pretty obvious that said demographic is clearly not a 25 year old male who can grasp concepts & see plot holes! I was mislead by Andrea Muzzin & Anya Cengic as well. Shame on you ladies for telling me it would be good! OH ALSO! The creepy girl from Orphan is in it, slightly less creepy, but not by much! The acting actually wasn't that bad at all. I thought Lenny Kravitz was pretty good considering the lack of acting he's done. It was hard watching 82-year old Donald Sutherland attempt to not get winded standing & the ending scene of him walking up the stairs (that they cut after 1 stair), but he was still just as imposing a figure as always. Then you get little Josh Hutcherson all grown up. I noticed though the awkward chemistry between He & Lawrence. Also keep your eyes pealed for genetically enhanced super bees & ridiculous looking CGI dogs? or wolves? I couldn't really tell.

S.P.R.: C/34

Acting: 8/10

Plot: 5/10

Cinematography: 6/10

Intrigue: 7/10

Extra: 8/10 (Only for Woody Harrelson)

Faces In The Crowd (2011):

Starring:

Milla Jovovich - Anna Marchant

Julian McMahon - Sam Kerrest

David Atrakchi - Lanyon

Michael Shanks - Bryce

Marianne Faithfull - Dr. Langenkamp

Director: Julien Magnat

Synopsis:

A horror-thriller centered on a woman living with "face-blindness" after surviving a serial killer's attack. As she lives with her condition, one in which facial features change each time she loses sight of them, the killer closes in. 

Review:

If I were an Hollywood actor. And I was asked to be in a film, where my romantic interest was played by Milla Jovovich, I Don't think even if I channeled Marlon Brando, that I could even pretend to act like I was physically attracted to her. But even so, once you get past her Euro-trash exterior, you get her horrible, awful acting style. The woman who in every other movie plays the same character she did in the Resident Evil movies, when she is playing a non-physically demanding role, where she has to play a helpless, scared woman the only thing she can do is become a paranoid, borderline schizophrenic. The concept of the film is stupid. She gets so scared that she can't recognize faces of anyone, even if she knows them. (I understand that this is supposedly a real traumatic symptom), but you get to spend the whole movie watching Milla be confused as to who this person is, does she know them & pretend that she knows how to act. The one saving grace of the film, is the constant face changes that she sees. They hired legit 20 actors/actresses that all looked about 90% the same, so that every time she saw someone they would look similar but different at the same time. Sometimes they would be in the same scene where they would go off camera & then come back on camera looking different. Julian McMahon (Dr. Doom himself) grows a terrible looking mustache & put on what looks like 20lbs of fat in his face for this movie. Either that or he realized after Nip/Tuck his career has peaked so he's taken the Val Kilmer route of, who gives a fuck what I look like, I'll take any role they offer me, stance. The movie has 10 minutes of action at the beginning & 10 minutes of action at the end. Everything in between is completely forgettable & I would say irrelevant considering I watched it & can't remember anything that happens in the middle.

S.P.R.: D/27

Acting: 5/10

Plot: 5/10

Cinematography: 9/10

Intrigue: 4/10

Extra: 4/10

The People Under The Stairs (1991):

Starring:

Brandon Adams - Fool

Everett McGill - Man

Wendy Robie - Woman

A.J. Langer - Alice

Ving Rhames - Leroy

Sean Whalen - Roach

Bill Cobbs - Grandpa Booker

Kelly Jo Minter - Ruby Williams

Director:

Wes Craven (Scream's 1-4; Nightmare On Elm Street)

Synopsis:

Two adults and a juvenile burglar break into a house occupied by a brother and sister and their stolen children and can't escape. 

Review:

"Wes Craven's The People Under The Stairs", more like "Wes Craven's Creepy Fetish Made Into A Movie". Not quite a snuff film, but by no means a horror film. There are so many things that I do not understand about this film. WHY does the Man dress up in a full masochistic s&m bondage costume to try & hunt down the kid? Are they husband & wife or brother & sister? OR BOTH!?!?! I like the concept of the film more than the actual film. Kidnapping kids & forcing them to love you as if they were their real parents, Fantastic. When they turn out to be little punks, cutting out their tongues & trapping them "Under The Stairs", very cool. But first of all, when you have that many teenage boys locked together under the stairs, not only are you going to promote some man on man lovin' but you have to expect that most of them would probably kill each other off. Then you get the fantastic acting of Mr. Ving Rhames playing a black panther Esq character, who surprise surprise is also a criminal. To round it all off, once you get the crazy Man in the S&M suite, he starts running around the house, wildly firing a shot gun at the walls, presumably getting himself all riled up to do it with his sister/wife. Playing the main kid, is Brandon Adams, of The Mighty Ducks trilogy fame, only years before the Ducks. I'm not really a big fan of kids in "horror" movies because it really limits the amount of anything that can be in the film. Although with it being an early 90's film, I wouldn't expect much gore, blood, killing etc anyways. The movie serves it's purpose as far as 1990's Wes Craven film. You'd really have to be in the mood to sit through it.

S.P.R.: C/30

Acting: 6/10

Plot: 8/10

Cinematography: 5/10

Intrigue: 6/10

Extra: 7/10