Shark Night 3D (2011):

Starring:

Sara Paxton - Sara Palski

Dustin Milligan - Nick

Chris Carmack - Dennis Crim

Katharine McPhee - Beth

Joel David Moore - Gordon

Donal Logue - Sheriff Greg Sabin

Joshua Leonard - Red

Sinqua Walls - Malik

Alyssa Diaz - Maya

Chris Zylka - Blake

Director:

David R. Ellis (The Final Destination; Snakes Of A Plane)

Rotten Tomatoes: 14%

Flixster: 21%

Synopsis:

Arriving by boat at her family's Louisiana lake island cabin, Sara and her friends quickly strip down to their swimsuits for a weekend of fun in the sun. But when star football player Malik stumbles from the salt-water lake with his arm torn off, the group realizes they have to get Malik to a hospital on the other side of the lake. As they set out in a tiny speedboat, the college friends discover the lake has been stocked with hundreds of massive, flesh-eating sharks! As they face one grisly death after another, Sara and the others struggle desperately to fend off the sharks, get help and stay alive long enough to reach the safety of dry land.

Review:

If you thought that Jaws & Jaws II were amazing revolutionary, genre defining shark attack movies, then you were correct. This one however could not be any more of the opposite. How this one got a theatrical release & a full fledged promotion by the studio is a mystery of the world. The CGI sharks have the budget of cable access & the acting is as well played out as gay porn. The bickering & arguing between the cast members has the resemblance of two 4 year old girls fighting over a doll. If you had only seen a poster for this before it came out, and then never saw a trailer or the actual film. And you were asked to describe everything you would see in this movie. You could 100% guess every single thing that would happen. It has every single horror cliche in it. I'm not exaggerating, it literally has every single one. Kids on summer break, meet creepy locals at a gas station, nerdy guy, slutty chick, innocent boy & girl and yes even token black guy (they even give him a spear to chuck at one point). The kill scenes are incredibly non-dramatic & have absolutely no build up. Most of them are far fetched & uncreative. To be honest, the only reason I saw it, as I generally do most horror films was to see boobies. You don't get to see either main female leads but Katharine McPhee is such a hottie & you do get to see some fantastic side boob. Sara Paxton is bland & unattractive. Donal Logue although in such a minor role is actually pretty bad ass. I think the stupidest part is that they play it out that the redneck hicks who put all of the sharks in the lake are trying to play out of the stereotypes of being redneck idiots by learning all they can about sharks.

22%

Lead Acting: 4/15
Supporting Cast: 3/15
Plot: 4/10
Compared To The Genre: 1/10
Cinematography: 5/20
Intrigue: 5/20
Extra: 0/10